Saturday, January 22, 2011

saturday


Paid tuition at the tables today, and this is what I learned:

There never is any "losing session" when I play poker. It is only that today:
- I made an investment on my metagame (this insight came to me while running);
- I paid tuition to improve my game.
- I found out where my edge is, and will focus on, and improve on that edge from hereon.

I can choose to get upset that I lost money, but that will affect how I play this game, short term and long term. I'd rather see things in a way that is more positive. We all know that there is always two sides to every coin or there wouldn't be a coin at all. If there is a negative, there will always be a positive.

It is 10.31pm. I'm not sleepy yet, but I want to take a break from playing. I had coke lite after dinner. That'll keep me up past my usual bedtime. I have been having hives for about a week now. When I feel them coming up, I take anti-histamines. It usually takes an hour for the drowsiness to kick in. I took them after dinner with coke lite, so I don't know when the drowsiness will kick in. I don't want to lie in bed waiting to fall asleep. I'd just scratch everything that itches and that will cause anxiety, which will keep me up all night.

The wife wants me to jog with her tomorrow at 7am. I had my run late in the afternoon today. There was light rain when I ran. It was rather cool and had a great time running. Forecast for the next two days is rain. I suppose we'll have more light showers tomorrow then.

I never considered myself a writer growing up. I thought it was boring and that I did not have the talent for it. I love to read though, and somewhere along the way, I cam across Julia Cameron's book, "The Artist's Way." I followed the exercises from that book, writing three pages of morning pages every morning and doing one artist's date each week. That is how I got started writing.

I have two blogs where I post my morning pages. I probably have written thousands of morning pages since 2001. Some on notebooks (in the early days) and later more on the computer where I post them somewhere. It is because of morning pages that I improved my typing speed.

Another book that helped spark my creative writing was Natalie Goldberg's "Writing down the bones." I don't know how it is related, or how to explain it, but creativity is somehow related to poker. Creative writing is that ability to tap into your higher self. Playing poker, where I am lost into the now moment, is also, in a way, connecting with that higher self. When my local mind stops trying to control everything, trying to figure out everything, the cards fall into place. I find myself enjoying the process, the game when the local mind is occupied just screening which hands to play or not. It doesn't have to figure out what villain is doing or will probably do--it seems to come naturally and I know what to do.

This is why, when I watch instructional videos, I find myself in a dry spell, even a downswing. The ego mind tries very hard to do everything that was shown in the video. When the ego mind takes over, I lose that flow, I find myself outside of the zone.

Good night everyone!